Masintin and Yanintin – Similar and Different AND Perfectly OK

In the Andean Shamanic Path I practice and teach, there are 2 principles that the medicine men and woman work with – and regard as core principles in their practices. These are yanintin and masintin. Yanintin – the honoring and harmonizing of things that are different or opposite. Such as masculine and feminine, the boss and the employee, an accountant and a marketing CEO, etc. The other is Masintin - the honoring and harmonizing of things that are similar. Such as sister to sister, boss to boss, shopkeeper to shopkeeper, etc. We know that there can be both harmony and discord in both kinds of things, same/same and different/opposite. 

Often when we are in situations where things are similar or different and are in harmony, everything and everybody feels simply great. We can let each be as they are because all is going smoothly. We may even feel as if we are honoring the differences.  And, as long as it plays out in small ways, we can be good with it. Opposites attract and all that.

But as soon as there is discord in either situation, similar or different, one of two things tends to happen: 

1. Things move into a pattern of trying to make others be more like us so there can be a level of comfort again. This can show up by trying to change somebody. Change who they are fundamentally and coerce them into being more like us both consciously and subconsciously. Sometimes without even knowing it we are looking for validation and acceptance through others agreeing or being more like us. If this is not what it feels like we can drop into severe judgement and begin behaving like the bully.

2. The other scenario is that we end the relationship. We quit the job, we break up, we stop hanging out and being friends, we might even stop showing up to family functions. We isolate and push people out of our lives. Or we are on the receiving end of being pushed out.  Game over – let the exile begin.

The work of yanintin and masintin is to find harmony in the space between, whether it is between similar or opposite kinds of relationships. Working with yanintin – there is a deep honoring and respect for the way two things or people are in the complementary opposite.  There is not this push or pull to make it different than what it is. There is only a place of harmonizing the space between. Finding the place where we can see who each other is and let it be perfectly ok. Even if it is different from us. To let each be, feel and think as they do. The same goes for the masintin – similar energies or relationships. Just because they are similar in essence (sister/sister) doesn’t always mean there is harmony. 

It is often big personal and spiritual work to let one be as they are, who they are. It requires us to do a deep introspective dive into our own selves and look at what is bothering us or upsetting us. We must be honest about the why. Why do we want them to change, think or be more like us? Why are we not ok with what is? When we are willing to look here first and do the internal work, healing, letting go – we can find a deeper place of acceptance.

Now this does not mean that we just accept unhealthy relationships or behavior if that is what is showing up.  It does not mean that we let people abuse us or others. Sometimes when we do get honest and we let people be who they are, it means we walk away. It means we DO leave the job, the marriage, the family gathering. But we can do it in a way that where we are choosing ourselves and are standing in our own power and self-loyalty. This is hard, heartbreaking sometimes. When we let a person be totally who they are, and we see that it no longer works for us to be in a relationship with them, it can also mean that we are no longer a victim to the situation, and we no longer blame them.  This is HUGE!  This is how we actually move into yanintin, even in situations that can no longer continue. 

I experienced this at the end of my marriage. When I finally accepted what it was and stopped trying to make either one of us different than how and who we were, I stopped being angry and hurt and allowed for both of us to be exactly who we are. This allowed us to move through the divorce and come out on the other side as good friends and co-parents. We are still close and consider each other true friends. It is a principle I have cultivated and practiced in many different situations and relationships in my life. It has created room for a greater sense of internal peace and grace.

My working hypothesis is that if we moved into working with these principles of yanintin and masintin we would have a much less divisive, hurtful way of dealing with each other and find ourselves moving into a place of acceptance and ease. I am not naive enough to think all things will just merrily solve themselves if we simply let each other be – it is far more complex than that. And this is something we can start right in our homes, our workplaces, our communities. Start with the small hurdles and begin cultivating a practice that can move up to the higher stakes level of allowance. 

Give it a whirl - it is a game changer friends – I promise.